guess who's back?
Chocolate Chong will be there … even though he is dead. I wonder how that will
work?
Here is the official Tejon St. Crawl website
Here’s Chocolate Chong’s Tejon St. Crawl gallery 1 gallery 2
More information as it becomes available. Hope to see you there!
Posted by RAD at 06:28 PM | Comments (2)
Butter Slurpee
I would very much like to try one of those new Butter Slurpees.

I hear nothing gives you the brain freeze like a fresh buttery ice Slurpee with
stiff chunks of real congealed butter! Butter Slurpees go well with bacon and
any breakfast fare. Instead of bread and butter, try bread and buttery Slurpee!
Instead of slathering your biscuits with the Lordly butter, try smearing cold,
chunky, ice butter Slurpee on them.
But be weary, sometimes lumps of solid butter get stuck in the straw! It’s ok
though, because the unbending butter melts in your mouth! Drink two or three a
day for healthy living.
Let me know how they are.
What’s your favorite flavor of Slurpee?

Posted by RAD at 10:54 AM | Comments (3)
Russ Writes
INTERIOR – COFFEE SHOP – NIGHT
Russ writes in his composition book. Some guy, a shady fellow dressed in
wrinkled slacks and orange shirt, approaches.
SOME GUY: I haven’t seen a composition book in many years.
RUSS: Uh huh.
Russ continues writing.
SOME GUY: What are you writing?
RUSS: A novel.
SOME GUY: What’s it about?
RUSS: It’s historical fiction with a smattering of science fiction thrown in for
good measure. It’s a complex tale of life, love and other smart things.
SOME GUY: That sounds neat-o. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
RUSS: No thanks. Please don’t bother me. I’m very busy with my writing craft.
SOME GUY: (laughs and reaches for the composition book) May I read some of it?
RUSS: No. Really sir, please leave me be. And quit petting my arm.
SOME GUY: Are you sure you don’t want a cup of coffee?
RUSS: I suddenly have to go to the bathroom. I had burritos for dinner and four
cups of double caffeine coffee for dessert.
Russ stands up.
SOME GUY: (licking his lips) I’ll keep your seat warm.
RUSS: That won’t be necessary. Look at the size of that sandwich!
Some guy looks left, Russ darts right and out the door while gracefully hurtling
a baby stroller, three small children, a Seeing Eye dog, a tired-looking pastry
eater and a rack of Westwords on his way to the exit.
SCENE
Posted by RAD at 09:45 AM | Comments (1)
September 29, 2004
Childhood memories
I have many childhood memories. Some are good. Others are bad. Some are hazy.
Others are clear.
Here is a nonsensical list:
Slip N Slide. Couch cushion forts. Playing with Star Wars figures in the snow.
Blowing up Matchbox cars with Black Cats fireworks. Using my glasses as a
magnifying glass to sear writings into wood blocks. My father dying. My father’s
wake. Trips to DisneyWorld and DisneyLand. Going to Summer Camp Chief Ouray.
Being picked on at school. Being stuck/locked at Joey’s house and sending my
little brother for help (he went home and popped in a movie. I eventually
escaped). Early MTV at the babysitter’s house. Being locked in the basement of
the babysitter’s house and forced to scrape varnish and paint off of tables with
a huge dog tied to a pole barking at us the whole time.
Sprinting across a busy street in order to get to kindergarten. Mowing the lawn.
Drinking glasses of sun tea in front of the swamp cooler. Watching “Raiders of
the Lost Ark” on a VCR that we rented. Family Drive-In movie experiences with
mongo bags of buttered popcorn and cold sodas. Family vacations. Coloring
contests with my sister and my dad as the judge. Building things with Legos.
Playing with Transformers and Gobots. My dad playing with his false teeth.
Summers in Pueblo at grandmas. The Frozen Donkey. Turning on the water facet
full blast and almost flooding the bathroom. Sneaking around the house when I
should have been napping.
I will stop there.
Do you have childhood memories?
Posted by RAD at 12:07 PM | Comments (4)
Flight X-1 complete

Congrats to the team for Flight X-1 for the Ansari X-Prize. SpaceShipOne did it!
One more flight within the next two weeks and they will win the 10 million
dollar prize. I watched it live on the web … with the whole world … real time!
History in the making! It’s a historic day. A remarkable day in civilian
aerospace history. So awesome. So awesome!!!!
It looked like something went wrong as the ship did some sort of unscripted
roll. More information soon.
Here are links to my X-Prize “coverage” here at radhole. I’m a fully-fledged
space geek:
FLIGHT X-1 COMPLETE
SPACESHIPONE -- THEY DID IT!
HISTORIC SPACE LAUNCH JUNE 21, 2004
X PRIZE CUP EXHIBITION 1
X PRIZE
Posted by RAD at 09:27 AM | Comments (2)
September 28, 2004
From geeky to studly: all in one package
From geeky to studly and everything in between. Yes friends, while I freely
admit to being geeky, I can also acknowledge with great honesty that I am also
quite studly. Yes studly. Can you hear me? I proclaim it as truth.
studly: adj. Impressive; powerful
Shall I boast my studly ways as I did so generously with my geekiness? I think
not. Why come? Only because I do not want to brag all that much. Just keep it in
mind. If you know me, you know the truth of my studly geekiness. Now stand back
as I prepare to do some jumping jacks. Be gone!
Use ‘studly’ in a sentence. Come on. It’s fun.
“I was walking the streets yesterday when a studly man appeared from the shadows
and helped carry my groceries to the truck,” said the 90-year-old woman in awe.
“If only I knew before I was married that Russ Dale was this studly,” said the
unhappily wedded 33-year old lady.
“I baked a delicious 4-meat, noodle casserole for my studly man only to have him
one-up me with his impressive dessert,” said the woman who slaved over the stove
all day.
Posted by RAD at 01:06 PM | Comments (1)
Fraternal Twins
Most of you may or may not know that I am a twin. I’m a fraternal twin, which is
someone who has shared a common uterine environment with its sibling. Fraternal
twins are due to the fertilization of two different ova by different sperm. Also
called dizygotic twins.
It has always been awesome to be a twin. I have known no other thing. Dur!

Posted by RAD at 07:13 AM | Comments (2)
Harvest/Corn Moon
I watched the full harvest moon set behind the Rocky Mountains this morning. It
was beautiful. It’s amazing how something so simple can give one a sense of
marvel and peace.
Posted by RAD at 07:03 AM | Comments (0)
September 26, 2004
Geeky Me. How ‘bout you?
I’m a proud geek. I do a lot of geeky things in my day-to-day life. These little
things help define the person that I am.

Here is a short list proclaiming with pride some of my geekish idiosyncrasies:
1.) I spent several hours programming each of the full moons and their
corresponding names (ie Tuesday’s full moon is called a Harvest Moon) into my
cellular phone calendar for the next five years. The alarm informs me at 7 AM
sharp.
2.) I try to keep pens, chewing gum and such in my breast pocket, almost to the
point of needing a pocket protector. If I ever got a pocket protector, it would
be of the finest leather and highest technology possible. I would also like
“Flight” embroidered on it in gold cursive script.
3.) I try to watch every space-related event LIVE. From space shuttle launches
to Mars landings to Genesis probes smashing into the desert to super-secret spy
satellite launches to any sort of scientific press conferences.
4.) Nobody will play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with me because I’ve won it on my
first turn several times.
5.) I love watching Doppler radar … especially as the storm is right on top of
me.
6.) My mongo 5.7-ounce Yes watch is a sunrise/sunset calendar for 500 cities
around the world programmed through 2050. If I need to know what time the sun
will rise in Hong Kong, the information is just a few clicks away. Nothing
impresses the ladies more than sincerely informing them that “Sunset occurs in
Nigeria in exactly 3 minutes and 17 seconds.”
7.) I have a German dictionary on my phone and on the nightstand. I quiz myself
daily in order to broaden my vocabulary.
8.) I perform monologues, songs and dances to imaginary people and myself in my
private time.
9.) I’ve thought about collecting pillowcases.
10.) I used to collect the little red sticks in the Handy Snacks cracker and
cheese snack packs. I had over a hundred back in the day. Then I realized that I
couldn’t build a fort or do anything of use with them and threw them away.
11.) I enjoy listening to Kabuki Theatre musik.
I could go on and on but decline because I do not want to cross the line from
geeky to nerdy. It’s probably a little late for that. Oh well. I’m a loveable
dork.
I’m willing to bet good cash money that we all do geeky things. What have you
done or do you do that is geeky? Discuss it here. I won’t laugh. That much
anyways… Come on now, share.
Posted by RAD at 10:26 PM | Comments (9)
September 25, 2004
Droog 2k Interviews

It’s about time I got the edited versions of the Droog Interviews from the album
Droog 2k on MP3. If you would like the skinny and lore about my friends, the
Droogs, this is the place to go. They're insightful and hilarious. I zipped them
up and offer them here. If you would like to download them:
Droog 2k Interviews (11.2 Megs. Right click and ‘Save Target As’) droog2k.zip

Posted by RAD at 08:29 AM | Comments (3)
September 22, 2004
Sting/Annie Lennox Concert Review
“Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I'd lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me”
– If I Ever Lose My Faith In You by Sting

The Pepsi Center and Brooklyn's
The Sting/Annie Lennox concert at the Pepsi Center last night was the greatest
concert experience I have ever had. I’m saying it with pride. It was even better
than the 4 U2 shows I’ve seen. Not by much though. The whole evening was
enjoyable, save the wet chills of the coming fall and winter in the downtown
Denver air. I love fall and winter so it was tolerable. I documented the evening
with my Nokia 3650 camera phone so the low-light images are poor quality.
My sister, Jenny D, has seen Sting 4 times. She’s a Sting authority and I was
glad she could throw in tidbits and trivia during the show. We started out early
by heading to Brooklyn's at the Pepsi Center, 901 Auraria Parkway. They were
playing a Sting concert DVD on televisions and piped the audio through external
speakers onto the street. We each ordered a Ruben Sammich on marble rye. It was
a good Ruben Sammich, especially with several freshly poured Guinness famous
Irish stouts from the tap. I tell you what though, you’ll pay for it in the
morning when you grub down Guinness, some spiced rum and a corned beef sammich
with heavy sauerkraut. And I’m not talking about a drunken hangover. I’m talking
about the Guinness shits. ‘Nuff said.

Jenny D and Russ enjoy beverage and Rubens at Brooklyn's
Anyway, Brooklyn’s was a great time and there was a lot of gabbing going on with
various people who were going to see the show.
After dinner and drinks, we made our way to the club level of the Pepsi Center
to our seats. The show started promptly at 0700 pm. Dominic Miller, Sting’s
long-time guitarist, was a special guest. He played a few solo songs before
Sting came out to sing “Shape of my Heart” from Ten Summoners Tales (Sting was
born Gordon Matthew Sumner). It was a nice to hear some acoustic Sting before
the show even started! Lennox then took the stage and totally blew the audience
away with her echoing, passionate vocals. Her set impressed me. I’ve never seen
Annie Lennox live and she rocked. She has a beautiful voice.

Inside the Pepsi Center
Then Sting and his entourage took the stage and from there I was dancing and
cheering and screaming and meditating. I was surprised at how many songs I knew.
He even played some old songs from “The Police” but I could have done without
“Every Breath You Take” and laughed when he sang it. It was good to hear it live
though.

a poor quality pic of Jenny D at the Sting Concert
Thanks Jenny D for letting me come with you! It was a very memorable event. I
dreamt in Sting songs last night. Disturbing…
Posted by RAD at 09:55 AM | Comments (6)
September 21, 2004
Mace Windu is a bad motha fucka

Today, after years of waiting, the original Star Wars Trilogy arrives on DVD.
Posted by RAD at 10:05 AM | Comments (4)
Can You Handle Zero-G?
Book a Zero-G flight for only $3000. I’m there!!!!!!! If I throw up due to the
motion, so be it! Would you like to experience Zero-G? www.nogravity.com
The sensation of weightlessness is created inside a specially modified Boeing
727-200 aircraft called G-Force One™. G-Force One™ flies in a parabolic flight
pattern, specifically a 10,000-foot "roller coaster", which takes place at
between 22,000 and 32,000 feet altitude above Earth.
The ticket price pays for:
Inspirational training led by a veteran astronaut
Weightless Flight with 15 parabolas aboard G-FORCE ONE™
Martian-G Parabolas (1/3 gravity)
Lunar-G parabolas (1/6 gravity)
Zero gravity parabolas
ZERO-G merchandise including a mission log book, photo/video DVD, duffel bag,
two t-shirts, framed photograph, framed certificate and mission patch. Light
breakfast, lunch and dinner. Re-Gravitation Party with awards presentation.
Posted by RAD at 08:00 AM | Comments (0)
Sting and Annie Lennox concert
It’s raining and a gloomy morning. My sister scored box seat tickets for Sting
and Annie Lennox at the Pepsi Center tonight. She graciously invited me to come.
Thanks Jenny D! I’ve never seen Sting live. She’s seen Sting many, many times.
STING
SACRED LOVE TOUR
ANNIE LENNOX with special guest Dominic Miller
PEPSI CENTER, DENVER, CO
TUE SEP 21, 2004 7:00PM
My favorite Sting songs are “Why Should I Cry For You” and “I’m so happy I can’t
stop crying.”
“I took a walk alone last night
I looked up at the stars
To try and find an answer in my life”
Lennox’s new album is excellent. I hope she sings “Honestly.”
Posted by RAD at 07:43 AM | Comments (1)
September 20, 2004
best calzone in the Denver

The best calzone in the Denver area can be found at Lil’ Ricci’s New York Pizza
at 3333 S. Tamarac Dr. #S.

Posted by RAD at 10:13 AM | Comments (0)
I wake up scared. I wake up strange.
“Woke up on the wrong side of myself this mornin’. Wish I would have stayed in
bed but I would have ended up tossin’ and turnin’. Morning headlines. Reach for
a cigarette. Have to wonder which one of these events I would later regret.” –

“She Said” by The Freddy Jones Band
I believe the idea of a singular "soul mate" is very sweet and romantic, but not
realistic.
Someone gave me the advice that time, prayer, getting to really know someone and
their family and friends is the best thing when it comes to relationships.
“Follow His lead, not your hormones,” they said.
I don’t believe that a soul partner is one in a million. You can have a soulful
connection with someone if you can break through all the protections and
inhibitions and barriers that most of us carry with us. I have enjoyed personal
freedom in my life, for almost 29 years, and am now beginning to think that it
is time to discover the joys of mutual dependency and a shared life. The trouble
is finding that person.
There is magic in the discovery of the right partner. I know that there is work
to be done on my part in becoming a person who can love and be loved. I’m not a
very open person but have been trying to be. I’m very private and value my
“alone time.” I rarely get any sort of “me time” and relish it when it comes.
There are individuals who have entered my life at just the right moment and have
traveled with me on my journey. From high school to college to my career path to
standing on the street, all of these people connected with me on an
indescribable level. I celebrate each of these blessed relationships and thank
God that He has given me the insight to know what I have. If I ever lost any of
these special souls I would feel like I'd lost a part of myself.
I am rambling. If you're holding out to find that "perfect" soul mate I say
"PAGH!" -- take a closer look at what may be right under your nose.
Posted by RAD at 10:05 AM | Comments (4)
September 19, 2004
Friday September 17, 2004
Friday September 17, 2004 was an eventful and long day.
It started with work at 7am, in which I helped protect Presidential Candidate
John Kerry as he held a town meeting at my old high school. Secret Service,
SWAT, the police and fire department were there as well as thousands of people.
It was an exhilarating event that made me proud to be a part of.

Friday evening, it was to downtown Denver with MELT and Meg where Oktoberfest on
Larimer Square was in full swing. We made a quick breeze through the festival,
managing to drink a beer and consume BBQed bratwurst mit sauerkraut and sloppy
hotdogs whilst standing at the stage area listening to wonderfully traditional
German Musik. Meeting up with normsquatch, Hern Hecker and my sister, we then
entered Comedy Works to see the best comedian alive: Jake Johannsen. Jake was
hilarious as usual. Side splitting hilarious. Cackling laughter hilarious. ‘Must
urinate NOW’ hilarious. The opening acts were also pretty good. I ordered
Electric Lemonade, 2 Jack and Cokes and some spicy shrimp with a yuck cocktail
sauce.
After the comedy club, it was back to Oktoberfest for another beer, drunken
Coloradoan watching, some witty German language conversation/singing and
chicken-dance laughing.
Once the crowd began to disperse and the evening was winding down, MELT and I
found ourselves at the Denver Diner at 740 W. Colfax for a bar-rush adventure of
coffee and biscuits and gravy.

All sorts of creatures of the night make their way to the Denver Diner at 1:30
in the morning. “Taking a seat at the Denver Diner’s long counter is a
democratizing experience; you never know who might be on the next stool.
Construction workers and councilmembers, bums and bus drivers: All men (and
women) are created equal here,” said Westword in the write-up for Best Denver
Diner in 2003.
Friday night ended around 4am with the watching of Blade Runner on DVD,
considered to be the best science fiction movie of all time by 60 top scientists
including evolutionary scientist Richard Dawkins and Harvard psychologist Steven
Pinker.
This would have to be one of the most exciting and wonderful days I’ve had in a
long time. You can’t go wrong when you help your country and community, laugh
uncontrollably, watch the glory of diversity, consume first-rate foods and share
a few drinks, all while spending time with good friends and family. It really
doesn’t get much better than that.
After pleasant dreams, it was an early rise for a Venti Sumatra from that
Starbucks place I can’t seem to get enough of and even comedian Jake spoke of. I
guess great minds do think alike.

Zum gebortstag MELT!

Posted by RAD at 10:32 AM | Comments (3)
September 18, 2004
William Hardy Curd
I've done extensive family tree work on both sides of my family. W.H. Curd was
my 3rd great grandfather on my mother's side of the family. I've visited Murray
Kentucky where my ancestors lived.

Posted by RAD at 01:54 PM | Comments (1)
September 15, 2004
Ivan the Hurricane
My college Journalism professor and advisor Dr. Jack Morris now lives in New
Orleans where hurricane Ivan is heading. There are no hurricanes in Alamosa
Colorado where he lived for many years. Hurricanes are crazy. Just goes to show
how brutal mother nature can be.

Hurricane Ivan as seen by ISS Alpha
I sent him an email to check on him and his family. This is his reply:
**
From: "John Morris"
To: "Russ Dale"
Subject: Re: JACK!
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 2004 15:45:59 -0500
Hi, Russ!
I'm in Houston at a Kinko's. My wife and I brought in all the loose items around
our house, secured a few tarps, turned off the utilities and drove here on
Tuesday. We were lucky to find a motel Monday night after the mayor told
everyone to leave town. There is a possible "worst case scenario" with hurricane
Ivan that involves a lot of water.
I was able to change my plane reservations so I can present a research paper at
the National Newspaper Association … From there, we'll either go back to New
Orleans or Galveston. Time will tell.
Thanks for your concern. More later ...
--Jack
**
I hope everything goes OK Jack. I’m praying for you and your wife.
Posted by RAD at 05:08 PM | Comments (0)
September 13, 2004
R A D H O L E

Posted by RAD at 11:50 AM | Comments (6)
The Real Me
Humans speak and humans grunt. That is the way of things.
I am always contemplating what radhole, this website, is all about. Initially it
was designed as “a place where I hope to publish bits and pieces of my novels
for peer critique and review. It’s a place where photos friends or I have taken
and will be displayed. It is a place where my freakishness will be on display
for the entire world to suckle. Feel free to add your comments and wisdom. This
is, after all, a place where you can be an inspirational force in my life, or a
dreaded warlord foe. Either way evil dread lord, I want your comments.”
It still is all that and more. But my honesty towards the world around me may be
a bit put-offish to most people. My sense of humor is a little weird and learned
or “dry” as some people have put it. I could care less what people think of me
because I know I’m a unique individual with a tad bit of creativity. I don’t
want people to read this website and think they can glean some sort of insight
into my personality. They can’t. Maybe here and there, but there is really more
to me than the drivel on this website.
This website is not me. Few people know the real me. The real me is shy and
quiet. The real me is just some simple Colorado guy with opinions, trying to
find his place in the world. The real me desires all of the things normal people
want. The real me. That sounds so trivial. The real me is a pretty funny guy in
all honesty. I don’t say that to brag. I say it as truth. I’m farkin hilarious.
I want to help people. My best friend seems to laugh and scoff when I state that
I want to volunteer more of my time, like mentoring and tutoring underprivileged
inner-city kids or something like that. He laughs. He rolls his eyes. What kind
of friend is that? There are a lot of things that I want to do. My current bouts
of volunteering occur only during the holiday months but such help is needed 365
days a year.
I’ve been trying to focus on drastically changing my life. I am laying the
foundations and plan to put my goals into action within the end of the year. A
lot of things will change in my life. Who knows if I will be strong enough to do
these things? I have faith. That’s about all I do have right now. I work 40
hours a week in a job that I tolerate because it pays the bills. When I attended
college, I had grander dreams in my future. I like my job, and am grateful for
having it, but I feel I should be doing something different, something that can
use my talents for the better.
I do a lot to further my mind. I do a lot to further my “portfolio” of writing.
Where does it all lead? Who do I have to share my knowledge, experiences and
goals with? Who supports me in my choices? My family always supports me in what
I decide to do but that’s it. My friends could scarce care what I do with myself
and what I have been doing as of late only draws laughter and head shakes and
rolled eyes and “oh that wacky Russ” comments.
Me. Me. Me. I’ve been focusing so much and to long on the “me” aspect of my life
that I have neglected all other things. Well that is going to change. The Russ
Dale you’ve known and loved is changing. If you don’t like it … well … too bad.
Posted by RAD at 11:29 AM
Script Complete
The pilot episode of “Feasting with Weenis,” a sitcom comedy, is now complete
and will be sent to Bravo for their Situation: Comedy contest. If you want to
read it, send me an email. Let’s hope I make it to round two. I am mailing 3
copies, a title page, a character page, a summary page and the application
tomorrow or Wednesday as it is due September 18. I think it’s a pretty funny and
tight script. It’s about 22 pages long. It's definitely unique that's for sure.
Posted by RAD at 08:50 AM | Comments (1)
September 12, 2004
radhole Wallpaper 5
1024x768
1024x768

Posted by RAD at 03:25 AM | Comments (0)
September 11, 2004
Brown Dwarf 2M1207
This image of brown dwarf 2M1207 shows what scientists believe to most likely be
a planet. The first image of an extrasolar planet. The red object is orbiting
the star.

Posted by RAD at 07:07 PM | Comments (2)
September 10, 2004
Jake Johannsen
There is no other comedian like Jake Johannsen. He is the funniest comedian
alive. I have seen him countless times here in Denver at the Comedy Works. It
has become almost a tradition.
If you ever get a chance to see him live, I highly recommend doing it. I’ve
laughed so hard that I cried. I laughed so hard that the sides of my shirt
split. I have never talked to anyone who leaves a Jake Johannsen show not liking
it. The man is a comedy juggernaut. I aspire to be half as funny as Jake. TV
Guide, in its special issue dedicated to the "50 Funniest TV Moments of All
Time," placed his 1991 HBO special "This'll Take About an Hour" at No. 36.
about Jake: Jake Johannsen's bizarre takes on everyday life have earned him rave
reviews, including a Cable ACE award nomination for his HBO Comedy Special
This'll Take About an Hour. His other tv credits include over 30 appearances on
The Late Show with David Letterman and hosting duties on Comedy Central's Two
Drink Minimum.

His CD, Jake Johannsen: Live at Cobb's Comedy Club, is awesome. He autographed
mine. And my sisters. Woo Hoo.

click for my review of the album
I am seeing Jake Johannsen at the Comedy Works on Friday September 17, 2004 at
10pm. Call 303-595-3637 for tickets. Jake Johannsen's website is
www.jakethis.com
Posted by RAD at 01:57 PM | Comments (1)
grandpa Dale

The Dale Grandparents
My grandpa Dale goes in for angioplasty surgery today. He's 86. He is the elder
Dale. My grandparents have been married for 62 years. That's amazing and
awesome. I'm sure they've experienced rough times and managed to stay together.
A horrible event that had to have tested their relationship is the death of my
father, their only son, in 1983. Nobody should have to loose a child. My prayers
are with my grandfather today.
Posted by RAD at 08:57 AM | Comments (3)
freaky humans
At work, I see some wacky things. This morning I read the nightly reports as is
my usual routine. This is one of the best incident reports I have ever seen. The
incident happened at 2210 hours. I changed the guys name to protect his freakish
identity. This is totally a true story. Exceprt from report:
--
“…While writing my report I observed a maroon Buick 4-door drive the wrong way
into the northwest parking lot through the exit, which is a one way.
After finishing up my report, I drove over and contacted Mr. John Doe. I asked
Mr. Doe what he was doing, after stumbling out of his vehicle he informed me
that he was “Dinking himself, and looking at the mountains.” He then told me,
“FBI let me see your hands.” I explained to him that I needed to see his
identification. Mr. Doe then told me “Jesse Ventura punched out my teeth.” I
again asked for his identification, he said, “Pardon my French, I left the
son-of-a-bitch at home.” I then asked Mr. Doe if he had anything with his name
on it. He produced his insurance and registration cards and stated, “This
fucking world is going to hell, pardon my French, did you hear about that
spaceship that landed in the desert?” I asked Mr. Doe to shut off his vehicle.
He did. I then asked Mr. Doe if he had been drinking this evening. He replied,
“I have had a couple of Old Milwaukees.” I asked him how many? He said, “Three
or four.” I then asked how long ago. He stated, “About 15 minutes over at my
house.” I informed Mr. Doe that I would return to him shortly and I went back to
my patrol vehicle.
I called my dispatcher over the radio and informed him of the situation. He then
dispatched the police. The police arrived and took control of the situation
after I explained the events that I had observed. Moments later an additional
police officer arrived and assisted. I received a Case Number from the police. I
then left the area.”
--
I’ve never heard the term “dinking.” Mr. Doe had the tissues to prove it.
Evidently this particular Coloradan loves pounding down a few brew dawgs,
sitting in his car, looking at the mountains and fondling himself. There is
nothing like freaky human stories to start a Friday off right. You can't write
fiction this good.
Posted by RAD at 07:21 AM | Comments (1)
September 09, 2004
The No-Neck Goons Hate Me
Since I'm on a roll talking about stirring the hornet’s nest, I shall speak upon
more written word antics from my college newspaper past.
I once insulted the entire Adams State College football team. I wrote a
wonderful piece about the stereotypical football player as seen in stories,
movies and in real life. Nothing was sacred as I mentioned our teams 'beef
cakey' stupidity, their dumb goof antics in classes, the rowdy parties, the
women using, the keg stands and drunken brawls and “holier than thou” attitudes.
I even wrote how the team got beat by the local middle school during an
unforgettable and covered-up scrimmage.
Most of these examples had snippets of truth, from first hand witnessing and
such, except for the middle school game. I tossed that in because it was darn
funny.
When my opinion piece debuted, team Grizzly, the coaches and snobby cheerleaders
were mad. I received death threats on my answering machine and my car was
vandalized and I was pelted from afar with water balloons and pushed around
while walking to classes and hateful remarks were made as I swaggered by. In one
of the hatefully yelled phone messages, I was invited to partake in a full pads
practice to “see how hard we work on the field.” I declined because I played and
hated youth sports and was sickened by the actions of the team due to my column
and came right out and said I'd be out for blood.
I would make it a point to throw my mass around so carelessly that people would
undoubtedly get hurt. I targeted their precious quarterback (who wrote a great
letter to the editor), of whom I stated I would have in my crosshairs to body
slam into the turf without remorse of my safety or the outcome, perhaps
shattering his ribs or puncturing his lungs or ‘accidentally’ poking him in the
eyes at the bottom of the pile, rendering him injured for the season.
Fearing my remarks, the coaches quickly shot down the idea of me going to
practice. It could have been a liability thing. I don’t know. I know the team
was eager to get me on the field so they could pound me. I was not afraid
because I planned on doing some clobbering of my own. Bring it on fuck-face
no-necks!
My editorials, while tongue and cheek, made people think and react. One
particular fellow who left a message on my answering machine turned out to be a
really great guy in many of my English classes. He is now a teacher somewhere.
The article was forgotten after a few months and my life returned to normal. One
thing I learned in college is that no-necks don’t scare me.
Posted by RAD at 07:43 AM | Comments (2)
September 08, 2004
Genesis return capsule crashes
Being the space fiend that I am, I was hovering on console this morning to watch
NASA TV’s coverage of the Genesis probe returning to earth. Launched in August
2001, the Genesis mission flew to just under one million miles from Earth. The
spacecraft deployed collectors made from sapphire, silicon, gold and diamond for
850 days to "soak up the Sun" -- entrapping particles carried into space by a
constantly streaming "solar wind.” My smiles turned to shock as I watched in
horror as the cameras showed an airborne wobbling mess, the drouge and main
parachute, a wing-like parafoil, did not deploy. It slammed into the Utah
desert. Hopefully there can be some sort of science gleaned from the disaster.
It struck the desert floor at approximately 193 miles per hour. I am always
disappointed when something like this happens.
Posted by RAD at 01:28 PM | Comments (4)
///>BEAUTIFUL!
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said “No.”
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said “No.”
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry. Once again he replied with
a “No.”
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face, the guy
grabbed her arm and said, “You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don’t want to
be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldn’t cry if you
walked away. I'd die.”
Posted by RAD at 09:08 AM | Comments (6)
Stir the Hornet’s Nest 1
The power of the media is vast. I have experienced its glory many times first
hand. One particular instance comes to mind. At Adams State College in Alamosa
Colorado, I was a weekly commentary/editorial columnist for the South Coloradan
newspaper, and also Associate Editor, theatre department character actor and
radio DJ/talk show host. I had a reputation of wackiness and truth to uphold.
My college was a dry campus, meaning no alcohol allowed. At the beginning of a
semester long forgotten by time, I happened to find myself in an RA's (resident
assistant) on-campus apartment. This dude was power-hungry and believed rules
did not apply to him. Casually, he showed me a secret panel that when opened
revealed a tiny refrigerator. Inside the fridge was liquor of all kinds. Malt
liquor, whiskies, beer, shot glasses and utensils, lemons, limes, tequila and
liquor-filled chocolates. This guy had the key essentials for a makeshift bar in
his dorm room. I was impressed. He didn’t offer me any sort of beverage. This
guy was “sticking it to the man.”
About two weeks later, I heard about an on-campus party, of which I was eager to
attend. Rumor had it that there was a keg of nasty Coors, but I decided to make
an appearance anyway, as I was a celebrity and have an uncanny ability to
brighten any room I enter.
I had just walked in the door when a SWAT team of RA’s and campus police stormed
the party. Events are a little hazy after that, as people scrambled through
doors and windows to escape. Thinking I was nowhere near trouble, I stood back
and watched the drunkards get written up. Then they wrote me up because I was
there. I was pissed.
It was the power-hungry RA who a few weeks prior shared with me underground
knowledge of his technological booze stash that wrote me up. I pleaded my case,
but to no avail, I now had a liquor violation on my record. I was even more
pissed.
Brooding, I went back to my sparsely furnished dorm room and sat at my console
to write my column for the weekly paper. I gazed up at the posters of U2’s Bono
and Captain Jean-Luc Picard on the yellow walls. They guided me to reveal truth.
I spewed forth a column so conspiracy-filled that I actually wept at it’s veiled
genuineness. The line that caused the campus-wide controversy was: “There could
be RA’s on this campus with a complete wet bar in their dorms!”
Investigations began by the Housing Director and the evildoers were exposed.
Many RA’s were fired for breaking the school policy. Resident Assistants were
supposed to be role models. The brute RA who wrote me up got fired, lost his
free housing, lost his job and ended up dropping out of school. I’m not proud of
the fact that I may have potentially ruined this kids life, but when you pull an
innocent into the nasty circle things must be done swiftly and with journalistic
integrity. I did my job and scared the hell out of the remaining RA’s on campus.
I was both feared and loved by my peers after the incident. The power of the
media remained strong. That is only one incident where my writings caused a
stir. In time, I shall reveal them. I've stirred the hornet's nest many times.

Posted by RAD at 07:23 AM | Comments (2)
September 07, 2004
Intolerance
There are three things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant and
people who are bad at math.
Posted by RAD at 01:45 PM | Comments (3)
Hurricane Frances and NASA
The first thing I thought about when Hurricanes Frances and Charley hit Florida
was Kennedy Space Center and NASA. Frances ripped about 1,000 4-by-10-foot
aluminum panels off one side of the giganto VAB (Vehicle Assembly Building). The
VAB was built in 1965 to assemble the Apollo Saturn V rockets. It’s now used to
attach the space shuttle's boosters. Two external tanks were inside the building
during the storm. The VAB was the tallest building in Florida until 1974.
Current plans call for a shuttle launch in March or April of 2005. I cannot
wait. We need to get the program back up and running again. Click here to follow
NASA’s return to flight.

Damaged Vehicle Assembly building at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral,
Fla
Posted by RAD at 09:16 AM | Comments (0)
SDR: HELL HOLE

Church Sign Generator link found over at gijyun's.
Posted by RAD at 08:55 AM | Comments (0)
September 05, 2004
stuff me face
My weekend in pictures: God, great company, chicken fettuccini, Cesar salad,
Francis Ford Coppola Merlot 2002, white chocolate raspberry ice cream, fresh
raspberries, Foglifter coffee, bottled water, "The Mighty Wind," and the Taste
of Colorado 2004. I didn’t starve this weekend. Have a Happy Labor Day. I will
be working.

Posted by RAD at 09:59 PM | Comments (2)
September 03, 2004
mountaintop hole

Posted by RAD at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)
September 02, 2004
SHGb02+14a
This is an interesting article about SHGb02+14a, a strange outerspace radio
signal with a frequency of about 1420 megahertz detected by the massive radio
telescope in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. This radio signal has now been seen on three
separate occasions and seems to be coming from a point between the
constellations Pisces and Aries. Read the article. Check out SETI (THE SEARCH
FOR EXTRATERESTRIAL INTELLIGENCE). More to come on this possibly gargantuan
discovery.
Posted by RAD at 11:39 AM | Comments (0)
RUSS AT STARBUCKS
I hate Starbucks jargon. Tall, grande and venti?! Alls I want is a cup of
coffee.
RUSS: I’ll have a mongo size Sumatra please.
STARBUCKS CLERK: You mean the 20-ounce venti?
RUSS: Sure venti, whatever it’s called, I’ll take a large Sumatra.
STARBUCKS CLERK: We also have a coffee carrier to go. That’s 96 ounces of
coffee.
RUSS: I just want a large.
STARBUCKS CLERK: The 96 ounce large?
RUSS: No. The venti. I don’t understand your coffee lingo.
STARBUCKS CLERK: Should I leave room for cream?
RUSS: Do you sell venti’s of cream?
STARBUCKS CLERK: No.
RUSS: Then don’t leave room for cream.
STARBUCKS CLERK: Can I interest you in a pastry?
RUSS: I want a mongo piece of classic coffee cake.
STARBUCKS: We have one size.
RUSS: The venti Sumatra will be all.
Posted by RAD at 09:31 AM | Comments (6)
September 01, 2004
Search Phrases August 2004
I laugh at some of the things people search this website for. Here is the best
of August 2004:
jon halinkowski
coke whores
strangers on my flight
radhole
hot and cold water towers
yukon cornelious
cocaine whores
blinky the clown
donovan warnick
grabthar
javelin accident video impale
melroy pam; astronaut
normsquatch
obese-boy -beaver –records
mormon golden tablet rubbings
german squat toilets
racoon excrement
uganda shea butter
organic shea butter
porkins
brutal brad garbage pail kid
Posted by RAD at 02:01 PM | Comments (2)
Supes
Can you see through a wall? Superman can.
There is no hero more American than Superman. He, after Marvel Comic’s Wolverine
of course, is the grandest superhero of all. The mo-fo is defender of Truth,
Justice, and the American Way! Yes, the American way!
They are making a new version of the motion picture Superman. It’s tentatively
titled Superman Returns (2006) and is rumored to continue in the “same universe”
as the original films. It’s not an “origin” movie, as I think they are betting
most fans already know where Supes came from. I think this is a great idea as
long as director Bryan “X1, X2, The Usual Suspects” Singer doesn’t sex it up so
much that it becomes a special effects extravaganza of shit. 1978’s Superman:
The Movie is perfect, a well-done masterpiece. When I saw that film as a youth,
I truly believed that a man could fly.
While I don’t watch all that much television, I do watch Smallville, the
adventures of boy Supes before the big “S” on his chest. Lex Luthor (Michael
Rosenbaum) is the coolest character on Smallville and I will be delighted to see
how his character blossoms with hatred for Kal-El of Krypton and takes on his
role as “The Greatest Criminal Mind of Our Time” as the show progresses.
This is all leading somewhere. Supes hasn’t been cast yet for Superman Returns.
It would be nice if they continued with Smallville’s Tom Welling as Superman. It
would make a seamlessly complete saga from youth to maturity. I doubt this will
happen. Warner Brothers is wacky. Rumors that James “Jesus” Caviezel is in the
running for Supes are interesting, but I doubt that will pan out as well.
Whatever the casting choices, I look forward to hearing more about the newest
film about the man of steel.
Posted by RAD at 11:20 AM | Comments (3)
Chong Funeral Video
Since I have killed off my alter ego Chocolate Chong, the film HERO is the
perfect thing for play at his funeral. Or my funeral anyways. Thanks MELT!
Yes, this is another shamless plug to get people to see HERO. If you haven't
seen HERO yet, WATCH IT! WATCH IT NOW!
Posted by RAD at 09:53 AM | Comments (0)