Comet Tempel 1. Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/UMD
The Deep Impact mission is to find clues to the formation of the solar system
and to learn more about the structure and composition of comets by making a deep
crater in Comet Tempel 1. The science objectives for the mission are:
1. Observe how the crater forms
2. Measure the crater's depth and diameter
3. Measure the composition of the interior of the crater and its ejecta
4. Determine the changes in natural outgassing produced by the impact

It should be the best fireworks display ever. The Deep Impact Tempel 1 comet
event at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science will be the perfect venue
outside of mission control to follow this monumental occurrence in history. See
you there? Reservations need to be made by July 1st.
Posted by RAD at 10:45 AM | Comments (0)
TGIF
Thank goodness it is Friday. It has been a very, very long week. Anyone have any
spectacular weekend plans?

Russ does the Friday jig
Posted by RAD at 10:18 AM | Comments (5)
June 23, 2005
Jimmy’s Olive Branch
It has been awhile since I have heard anything from my once number one radhole
fan, Jimmy the six-year-old. Like a bolt from the blue, Jimmy
uncharacteristically contacted me. Instead of sending me a youth scrawl hate
letter, he got hip with the times and sent me an eloquent electronic email. I am
glad because I miss Jimmy with all my tormented soul.
FROM: Jimmy XXXXX (boyjimjim@XXXXX.com)
TO: Russell A. Dale
DATE: 23 June 2005 0423
RE: I kinda sorta miss you
Dear radhole:
My birthday is coming up soon. I am turning 7. I miss you. Please let’s be
friends. I am incomplete without your friendship. You are like a father figure
to me because my real father is a lazy, homeless assface who huffs gasoline and
leaps around freakishly ranting about nozzles, sticks and self-tanning. Would
you be my support group? I really hope we can remain friends. I present to you
an olive branch of peace.
Sincerely,
Jimmy
--
Wow Jimmy. That’s a nicely written email. I’ve missed you also. Your absence
from my life has been difficult to bear. Allow me to be your mentor and your
ills will melt away. I shall teach you friend. I shall teach you. You said your
birthday is soon. When is it? Within the next few days? Whenever it is, Happy
Birthday Jimmy. I bequeath upon you the name: Jimmy the seven-year-old radhole
fan. Welcome.
Posted by RAD at 10:35 AM | Comments (4)
June 22, 2005
Fuck Oprah
Why in the hell would Paris luxury store Hermes issue an apology to Oprah
Winfrey for turning her away after the store was already closed? This apology is
completely unnecessary. The store had been closed for 15 minutes.
What part of CLOSED is so difficult to understand? I went to Media Play the
other day and it had been closed for 5 minutes and nobody from the corporate
office called and apologized to me. I’m Russ Dale! I guess my celebrity power
pales in comparison to mighty, richie Oprah.
The very fact that this story is getting press sickens me. If every store issued
an apology statement to each ‘slighted’ customer, there would be no time for
shopping.
Why is Oprah, in her large-headed celebrity book list way, so special? Fuck her.
I hope they deny her service the next time she tries to go through the
drive-thru searching for a free handout Styrofoam container full of chocolate
lard. I hope she didn’t make a fuss. I really hope she didn’t make a fuss.
I’m sure Oprah fans everywhere are adding me to their ‘hit lists.’ So be it.
Posted by RAD at 02:18 PM | Comments (6)
Major League Lacrosse (MLL) Wild West All-Star Showdown
I am going to see some Major League LAX on July 2. 4th of July weekend will be a
busy one. Saturday the 2nd is the lacrosse game and Sunday the 3rd is the Deep
Impact Tempel 1 comet event at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I have
to work on the 4th of July though. Pagh.
Who: Major League Lacrosse (MLL)
What: Wild West All-Star Showdown -- Old School vs. Young Guns
When: Saturday July 2, 2005 at 7pm
Where: INVESCO Field at Mile High, 1701 Bryant Street, Denver, CO 80204
How: Tickets on sale now and are available at the INVESCO Field at Mile High
Ticket Office, by phone at 303-830-8497, at all TicketMaster locations and
online at www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets are affordably priced at $25, $17.50,
and $12.50 with Group discounts available.
Posted by RAD at 08:10 AM | Comments (2)
June 20, 2005
“THE massive” RAD manifesto
Every time I read the Raver’s Manifesto I practically fall out of my chair due
to the laughter. Have you ever read the Raver’s Manifesto? I suggest you read it
now. Laugh with me.
Do all Raver’s commit this poppycock to memory? Is it a requirement when
treading silently and ninja-like to the secret alleyway map point, deciphering
when and where the DJ will be spinning vinyl at the shanty, condemned warehouse?

Once navigating to the middle of nowhere, upon confrontation, if one shouts
kindly at the Raver, “Speak to me the Raver’s Manifesto,” will the Raver stop
dancing, cease twirling glow sticks, comb over his or her neon pink
glitter-filled hair in latest Anime style, turn down the technoy Drums 'n' Bass,
stop sucking on pacifier, silence group fornications, vomit-up recently dropped
LSD tabs and/or Ecstasy pills, turn off strobe-lights and lasers, plummet their
neon green baggy pants whilst ceasing all hand-jobs and be bound to recite the
Raver’s Manifesto as a passionless, sweaty monologue? I long to see that. Oh
please invite me to the next local Rave.
My favorite line of the manifesto is “We are The Massive. One Massive.” That
conjures up many vile, filthy and hilarious images.
RAD MANIFESTO
I will now decree the RAD manifesto, dedicated to the positive side of the RAD
scene:
My emotional state of choice is indifference. My nourishment of choice is greasy
foodstuffs. My addiction of choice is ‘shut yo mouth foo!’ My currency of choice
is the US Dollar. I am one mongo, unique, talented person who lives on tiny
Earth. I am The Hole. One hole. A dark hole. Feel my gravity.
Come and liberate yourself from the confines of this mortal plane! Radhole.
Dress appropriately because even in the darkest of holes, you will still shimmer
like Sol, our beloved sun! Pretend you are a radhole worshiper; floating,
twirling, dancing, tripping and having seizures to the sounds of a constant
beat, all while so high on designer drugs. I am The Hole. radhole.
Posted by RAD at 01:29 PM | Comments (2)
Old South Pearl Street Farmers Market
I went to the Old South Pearl Street Farmers Market yesterday, which is a scarce
few blocks away from where I live. The Farmers Market takes place every Sunday
until October 30.
It was a great time. There were a lot of vendors. MELT picked up some
straight-from-the-garden carrots that were the best carrots I’ve ever had in my
life. The cherries were good. I spat on the tomatoes.

If I had the equipment, I would love to make homemade sausages and sell them at
the Farmers Market.
There where a gaggle of beautiful ladies out and about on South Pearl Street.
It’s definitely summertime.
Posted by RAD at 08:22 AM | Comments (0)
The Joy of City Fox
If City Fox were a celebrity, it would undoubtedly enjoy appearing on Bob Ross’
PBS painting show.

Bob Ross could add City Fox’s likeness into a landscape painting, or at least,
paint a happy little shrubbery for the feral red city fox to have a rest in.
Damn. Bob Ross is dead.

Bob Ross holds City Fox
Posted by RAD at 07:55 AM | Comments (3)
June 17, 2005
City Fox Redux
I am officially naming the city fox that dwells in my backyard. It’s name: City
Fox.

A poem for City Fox:
A red fox named City Fox
Lives nearby
He lies without spirit
in the wood chip lawn.
Near the bushes and plants
in the wood chip lawn.
City Fox Oh City Fox
from whence do you come?
Near the highway perhaps?
Or the byways perhaps?
The Denver is not like the wilderness fair
So where are you from?
Come show me your lair!
A red fox named City Fox
stares with curiosity
Should I blast him with weapons
Or just let him be?
City Fox Oh City Fox
Sleep brute
You do not bother me.
Das Ende
Posted by RAD at 12:05 PM | Comments (4)
sausage king
I am the Sausage King! I can do anything! These bun pups be tasty. Want one?
Meet me over by the dumpster. Bring cash monies.

Grill Mastah Sausage King Photo by JD
Posted by RAD at 07:20 AM | Comments (3)
June 16, 2005
assfedora kid
Sometimes I wish I could beat the living guts out of punk kids with a rubber
hose or a metal pipe without repercussions from Johnny Law. Yes. I’m serious.
I’m not normally a violent person. Listen to why I would like to break the body
and face of a thuggish, local, faceless brat.
For those of you who do not know, I am a dispatcher. That’s my job. I broadcast
my wonderful voice throughout the city. I patterned my dispatcher voice off of
Martin Scorsese’s dispatcher voice in “Bringing Out the Dead:” DISPATCHER:
You'll be going to the man who needs no introduction. Chronic caller of the year
three straight and shooting for number four. The duke of drunk, the king of
stink, our most frequent flier, Mr. Oh.
Some assfedora kid got a hold of (probably stole) a Motorola radio and was
bothering me over the air yesterday. He overheard my call sign and kept hailing
me. It was infuriating. When I stated that he was impeding transmissions on an
emergency channel and please cease broadcasting, he announced that I was a “fuck
head.” Oh my Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord my blood boiled. He played some gangsta rap
also, which I found slightly amusing.
The radio wasn’t encoded so we couldn’t trace it back to the source.
I swear, if I could have found that bastard, I would have shoved the radio so
far up his ass that the flexible, plastic antenna would have pierced his brain
and emerged like a beacon of despair from the top of his shaggy skull, exposing
the wee bit of brain matter contained within to the thin, spores, molds and
fungus-filled mile-high air. Oh no, I’m not bitter or anything…
Posted by RAD at 10:33 AM | Comments (5)
June 15, 2005
"for the blood!"
Being a limited television watcher, the other day I was flabberghasted while
flipping through the channels (I think I have at least 10 to choose from due to
my rabbit ears antenna) when I came upon Darlene Bishop preaching and hollering
the word of Christ. It was literally out-of-this-world!! She screeched and
screamed and her voice rose in pitch and fervor…it was frightening. It was very
frightening. I think they added some sort of reverb effect and/or echoing. Her
preaching sounded like nails scrapping a chalkboard. She was ranting from the
dynamic, cross-cultural Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio. I am tempted to order
some of her CDs just to listen to her scream.
Check out her online shop. I was disappointed there was not a disturbingly large
cardboard standup with her likeness available for purchase.
She reminded me of preacher, televangelist and leisure suit sporting Earnest
Angely, also from Ohio. Angely was a healer. Angely (I believe) was exposed as a
fraud. He used the term “do it for the blood” a lot. I laughed whenever I saw
his shows, but was transfixed and mesmerized, unable to change the station. He
had charisma. “For the blood! For the blood! Do it for the blood! The blood of
Jesus!” Wonderful.
My brother and I once made “the religo mix,” an 11-minute experiment in sound
that had all sorts of Earnest Angely sound bites embedded in it. I have it on
MP3 somewhere. I played it on my radio show many years ago. It’s a grand bit of
audio.
I haven’t gone to church in quite awhile. My scientific mind leaves many
questions to be answered that the Bible or the church has failed to answer.
Religion, throughout history, has been cause for more problems than anything
else in my opinion. In current times, one word: Jihad. All of the world’s major
religions have so much intolerance against abortion, gay and lesbianism, the
hard issues, that it’s sickening. I could go on and on. But I won’t. Whenever
religion is brought up, a whole new can of worms is opened.
Posted by RAD at 01:53 PM | Comments (1)
Thugs and goons and minions – oh my
All hail the hooligans! Those wacky brutes and simple-minded ruffians!
There is something appealing about the thug lifestyle. Maybe it has to do with
the many words they can be called: mean person, gangster, goon, blackmailer,
evildoer, hustler, inside man, transgressor, bandito, minion, bruiser and
pilferer.
I’m fond of ‘goon’ myself.
Today marks the end of an era, for I have canceled my old website, RAD2020.com.
That domain was supposed to be used for my run for President of the United
States of America in 2020. I even hit the campaign trail. After 9/11, I put the
campaign on the back burner. It has remained there ever since. Perhaps I shall
revisit it again, for nostalgia purposes, one day, so very long from now.
Posted by RAD at 10:44 AM | Comments (0)
June 13, 2005
Comedian Jake Johannsen
The funniest comedian in the world, Jake Johannsen, has been in contact with me
regarding a fan website. The domain is purchased, now alls I need to do is
design it and put up content. The Official Jake Johannsen Fan Website is
www.blubberomelet.com
Yes, that’s right, blubberomelet.com.
A GENERIC LIST OF JAKE JOHANNSEN RESOURCES:
Jake Johannsen’s website www.jakethis.com
Jake Johannsen @ Internet Movie Database
Jake Johannsen’s 2005 Tour Schedule
Order Jake Johannsen’s Comedy CD: Jake Johannsen: Live at Cobb's Comedy Club
For those of you in Denver, Jake will be at the Comedy Works on Thursday
September 22 through Saturday September 24, 2005. I highly recommend seeing his
show. Do it.
blubberomelet.com … … soon
contact the blubberomelet.com webmaster
Posted by RAD at 12:38 PM | Comments (2)
Sunset @ Gusev crater
Amazing. Beautiful.
NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Spirit captured this image of the setting sun at
Gusev crater on Mars.

Image credit: NASA/JPL/Texas A&M/Cornell
Because Mars is farther from the Sun than the Earth, the Sun appears only about
two-thirds the size that it appears in a sunset seen from the Earth. I am in awe
of the beauty. The twin Mars Rovers, Spirit and Opportunity, still live!
Posted by RAD at 11:15 AM | Comments (3)
June 11, 2005
John Rutledge Bailey
I learned a lot about my ancestry at the family reunion in Kansas last weekend.
My 3rd great grandfather, John R. Bailey, was born 23 Aug 1812 in England. He
died 17 May 1905 in Cambier, Jefferson Township, Ohio.

Was listed as bachelor, full age, farmer, Kennscott.
John Bailey and Mary Ann Colwill were married September 8, 1842 in the presence
of John Colwill and William Ham. They were married in the parish church
according to the rites and ceremonies of the established Church of England.
MB007948 Application #6797D Registration Dist. Launceston in the Parish of North
Petherwin, Devon Co. England near Land's End, Eddystone Lighthouse, Pertherwyn.
The Eddystone Lighthouse, which stands 51 meters high on a treacherous group of
rocks some 14 miles out at sea, was established in 1703 (present tower 1882). It
covers a 17-degree arc marking a dangerous reef called the Hands Deep in the
southwest of the United Kingdom. A marvel of ingenuity for the time.
Penzance, Land's End, was where the Devonshire people went to get sea sand for
crops.
John, his wife, his parents, brothers and sisters (except for Abram [Abraham])
went to America sometime after 1842, as all of John and Mary Ann's children were
born in America.
1850 Census John and Mary Ann are in Jefferson Township, Knox County, Ohio with
children John, Mary E. William and Sophia.
1860 Census in Jefferson Township, Knox County, Ohio.
1870 Census in Jefferson Township, Knox County, Ohio (listed as Baily).
1880 Census in Jefferson Township, Knox County, Ohio.
1890 Census John is in Union Township, Knox County, Ohio with his son Thomas.
One of John's sons, my 2nd great grandfather, William Rutledge Bailey, moved
from Ohio to Pratt Kansas.
Posted by RAD at 08:16 AM | Comments (0)
June 10, 2005
the Ice Cream Truck
I have been hearing the ice cream truck in my neighborhood for weeks. It has an
irritating twinkling music box-sounding theme song. The song grates on my
nerves. It haunts me. I kept hearing that music but never saw the vehicle
itself.
Until the other day.
I saw it 7 times that day! It was following me like the helicopter following Ray
Liotta in Goodfellas. All I wanted to do was cook. My plan was to start cooking
early. I had to start braising the beef, pork butt and veal shanks for the
tomato sauce, unload the guns that MELT didn't want, get the package for
normsquatch to take to Atlanta later that night, avoid the ice cream truck like
the plague and stir the fucking sauce 'occasionally.' Damn, I need some cookie
dough ice cream. PAGH!
I took a quick picture of the ice cream truck with my phone as I was sitting at
Stella's Coffee Haus.
Posted by RAD at 10:41 AM | Comments (3)
City Fox
A feral red City Fox likes to frequent my backyard.

I think it was displaced because of all of the T-REX highway construction.
Yesterday, it was curled up, resting in a bush. We have stare-downs. I do not
bother it. It’s a nice conversation piece and fodder for good pictures.
Before the hailstorms yesterday, I moved my car into the garage. The fox ran off
as I was walking to the garage and I took a picture of its “lair.” It looks
pretty comfortable. One inside the bush and one “on the front door.”

City Fox's pallet lair
I think my neighbor feeds it. I saw Kibbles and Bits on the ground that looked
like they were dropped over from the other side of the fence. What should I do
about this City Fox?
Posted by RAD at 10:05 AM | Comments (6)
June 09, 2005
Chappelle's Show
Dave Chappelle is a comedic genius. Chappelle's Show, on Comedy Central, is a
masterpiece of gritty, raw, wrong and hilarious sketch comedy television.
The show may not be for everyone. It contains scatological humor, drug humor,
racial humor and everything in between. Chappelle loves to make fun of different
cultures in a non-hateful way and it works. It’s pretty damn funny. It’s not
racist. It’s comedy.
Chappelle’s Show added the phrase “I’m Rick James bitch!” into popular English
vernacular.
Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories are the best part of the show. Words
cannot describe how completely comical they are unless you watch them for
yourself. You can watch them here.
I recommend watching the uncensored versions available on DVD. That way you
won’t have to sit through the commercials and put up with blurs and bleeps. I
can’t sit through a censored version.
For cutting edge comedy, check out Chappelle’s Show. The show's second season
has so far sold 1.4 million DVD copies. The first season's DVD has sold 2.9
million copies. Evidently there is a massive swath of the population that agrees
with me about Chappelle.
Season 1
Season 2
Posted by RAD at 09:27 AM | Comments (4)
June 08, 2005
lubby
Not only did my older brother beat me and force my sister and I to spare in
deadly combat, he belittled my youth self by giving me the nickname Lubby.
Why he chose that particular moniker is beyond my comprehension. There is no
dictionary definition of the term Lubby. So today, I make the latest ‘word of
the day’ Lubby. Much like “The J-Hole Theorem,” I will leave it up to my readers
to define “lubby.”
The word of the day is lubby
lubby
Pronunciation: lub-E
No current definition exists in the English language. Create a meaning yourself.

Use lubby in a sentence. Here are my contributions:
1.) The lubby bastard filled his mouth with his own feces!
2.) “No Russ, I want you to hold this LUBBY!” screamed Eric hatefully.
3.) On the night of their wedding union, they laid upon the lubby and enjoyed
pleasures the likes of which neither have ever experienced.
4.) I’m cuckoo for lubby.
Posted by RAD at 11:11 AM | Comments (8)
June 07, 2005
Deep Impact with Comet Tempel 1 Event
The Denver Museum of Nature and Science, of which I am a dual member, is
offering live coverage and interpretation of a historic space event: the Deep
Impact probe crashing into Comet Tempel 1, creating a huge crater and ejecting
ice and debris. late-night telescope viewing, comet and impact demonstrations
and a lecture about comets usher in the 4th of July holiday. I am going.
Sunday, July 3
10:00 p.m.–2:00 a.m.
$7 member, $10 nonmember, $5 child/student
DEEP IMPACT’S OFFICIAL WEBSITE
Posted by RAD at 12:23 PM | Comments (1)
Danke Allison
Danke Allison for keeping my website up when I was gone whilst neglecting your
own in the process. You look beautiful in the pictures you published. Thanks
also for adding “pot” to my list of “radhole” search words. Anyone wanna smoke
an oversized bowl or a phatty J?
Posted by RAD at 12:21 PM | Comments (1)
June 06, 2005
Pot
I was looking through some old photos from high school and college and I found
this one from 1997:

Never have I seen a more incriminating picture. I hope these two dumbasses never
run for public office. I will totally sell this to the tabloids.
Posted by Allison at 07:14 PM | Comments (5)
Embarrassing moment of the day
Today at work, the elevator door closed on my foot. And I wasn't alone in the
elevator.
Posted by Allison at 06:59 PM | Comments (0)
June 05, 2005
Is that a gaping toilet in the background?!
This weekend I learned that RADHOLE gets an obscene amount of comment-spam.
This weekend I over-plucked my eyebrows and I'm seriously considering shaving
them off and tattooing new ones on. (I used eyeliner to fill in a hole. Shhhhh!)
This weekend I sat next to a whimpering baby in a theater while watching
Cinderella Man. (Who brings a baby to a boxing movie anyway? Babies don't like
boxing.)
This weekend I realized the air conditioning in the new house doesn't work and
it's REALLY HOT. (I used ALLCAPS so you know I mean serious business.)
This weekend my coworker is expecting me to read two chapters out of a "Learning
C#" computer book he dropped by on Friday. (Obviously my coworker doesn't
realize I don't get paid enough to bring my work home for the weekend.)
This weekend my dad turned 56 and I celebrated it by giving him short-sleeved
dress shirts. (What kind of person doesn't need short-sleeved dress shirts?
Their like flannel sheets...Everybody needs them.)
This weekend I tried out my new Transition glasses and almost blinded myself to
see if they'd darken in sunlight.

Posted by Allison at 05:23 PM | Comments (4)
June 03, 2005
kansas time
2255 Wichita Kansas Time
Governors Inn
room 201
It has been raining, pouring, lightning and thundering for over 7 hours. All
I’ve managed to do on this trip is drive and eat. Now I retire to my hotel room,
of which I have adjusted the environmental controls to counter the humidity. It
is currently 43 degrees in my room. Perfect. I opened a bottle of merlot.
I sprawl across the bed with U2 musik, thunderstorms outside, pie and laptop.
Could this experience get any better? Company would be nice.
I am tired but cannot sleep. Maybe I’ll try to get some writing done. Allison:
keep up the guest authoring please. It’s a welcome change to my ramblings.

breakfast
Look at that breakfast: eggs, hashish browns, sausage patty, ham, wheat toast,
bacon, grits, biscuits and gravy. Grits man. GRITS! I’m trying to watch my
figure. More later.
Posted by RAD at 09:55 PM | Comments (3)
June 02, 2005
It's me, it's me! It's Allie B.!
If he doesn't already, Russ should adore me for deleting his comment spam. So
Russ has abandoned you all and you have the misfortune of being stuck with me!
I'll do what I can, but it's not easy to fill the shoes of a derranged person
like RAD.
Ten bucks and a backrub to the person who can guess where Russ disappeared to.
Posted by Allison at 08:02 PM | Comments (5)
Earth from Mars
Here is a picture of the Earth from the surface of Mars.

Image credit: NASA/JPL/Cornell/Texas A&M
Taken by rover Spirit on its 449th martian sol (April 29, 2005). The faint blue
light from the Earth combines with the reddish sky to give a pale white
appearance.
Posted by RAD at 10:57 AM | Comments (2)
away
I am away for a couple of days. I shall try to update from the road. Maybe
Allison would like to be a guest author ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ?
Posted by RAD at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)
Comet Light Prayer
This is church doctrine. This prayer is pounded into the heads of members of
FAFF, Fighting Against the Fiendish Fiends. This prayer is FAFF’s truth:
FAFF’s prayer: a ward against the Todd Colter:
Oh My Comet Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord:
Please Comet Lord-God, please oh mighty, unearthly teacher in the spacey realm:
give me lustful pleasure for keeping away from the far-reaching grasp of
comedian Todd Colter and his associates. I know in my heart that he is sin evil.
So sin evil. That is evil sin to you and my church peoples. Evil sin!
Lord, in my most infinite ways, please keeps me safe from his movies. Guide me.
Guide my remote control. Guide mine eyes so that if I see him on the television
I shall look away from his horror. Guide my children’s away from Todd Colter’s
ways. Sweet Comet Lord, please turn my gaze away from his trash movies, for your
bizarre wisdom is the only movies for me. Comet light. Comet flight. Comet
flight for free. Comet light for me.
We await the eventual ride fantastic on the Comet Starship. In the meantime,
bless thine followers with the for free “Feet Treats.” Yes. Please. Please. It
is summer sandal season and your followers, the followers of blessed Comet
Light, YOUR followers and their fashionly fashions require nice-looking feets.
Do not deny us this bliss. Send us coupons for Utah salons in the mail. We have
given you our undying support over the years. Give us this one giftie. And also,
bring sudden and excruciating death to Todd Colter. Amen.
MORE COMET LIGHT GOODNESS:
(1 – 2 – 3 – 4 )
Posted by RAD at 10:10 AM | Comments (1)