Denver from space at night courtesy of NASA
Posted by RAD at 10:07 AM | Comments (3)
utinni
The word of the day is utinni
utinni
[n, verb, expletive, adj.] an all encompassing word in the Jawa language meaning
“Holy shit” or “wow” or “neat” or “butter” or anything else.
Pronunciation: Ooo-Teeny hear it

Use utinni in a sentence. Here are my contributions:
1.) When grandma fell down the escalator, I couldn’t help but squeal ‘utinni!’
2.) I would like a whole-wheat bagel with grape jelly and apple utinni.
3.) The malicious woman touched my utinni without my permission.
4.) I’m cuckoo for utinni.
Posted by RAD at 08:06 AM | Comments (6)
January 25, 2005
U2 Vertigo//2005 world tour
U2 is coming to Denver! U2 is coming to Denver! U2! U2! U2!!!!!!!
NORTH AMERICA DATES AND TICKETING INFORMATION
March 28th San Diego, CA - Sports Arena
April 1st Anaheim, CA - Arrowhead Pond
April 5th Los Angeles, CA - Staples Center
April 9th San Jose, CA - HP Pavilion
April 14th Phoenix, AZ - Glendale Arena
**April 20th Denver, CO - Pepsi Center** weeeeeeeeeeeee
April 24th Seattle, WA - Key Arena
April 28th Vancouver, BC - General Motors Place
May 7th & May 9th Chicago, IL - United Center
May 14 Philadelphia, PA - Wachovia Center
May 17 & May 18 East Rutherford, NJ - Continental Airlines Arena
May 21 New York, NY - Madison Square Garden
May 24 & May 26 Boston, MA - Fleet Center
Tickets for performances in Boston, Chicago, Denver, Philadelphia and San Diego
will go on sale this Saturday, January 29th.
I’ve seen U2 4 times and will not miss them.
Posted by RAD at 07:52 AM | Comments (4)
January 23, 2005
save Hubble
Thanks to the White House for taking the money away from the Hubble Space
Telescope. Thank you for directing NASA to work on de-orbiting one of the
greatest scientific tools of the United States. It’s obvious to me that the
current administration spits on Hubble’s work of studying the origin and
evolution of the universe since it was launched on April 24, 1990.

Scientists, and me, are surprised by this news. I’m more sickened than
surprised. It’s an enormous loss to science. I guess our country needs to save
the money for better things, like waging war and destabilizing the world and
throwing 40 million dollar inauguration parties. Pagh. *patooey* Pagh! Sign this
petition to Save Hubble.

Posted by RAD at 05:36 PM | Comments (5)
Johnny Carson dead at 79
RIP Mr. Carson.

Johnny Carson, legend, 1925-2005
Posted by RAD at 05:14 PM | Comments (0)
January 21, 2005
Jimmy's P.S.

Posted by RAD at 01:14 PM | Comments (3)
Thanks Jimmy!
My youngest fan makes me laugh.

Thanks Jimmy! I'll be waiting for the female demon to descend upon me for sexual
intercourse whilst I sleep!!!
Posted by RAD at 11:38 AM | Comments (0)
Wings
"You have given me wings with which to fly
Now I breathe in deep and spread them wide
as we lift off from the silken petals
into the wind where the butterflies glide."

Posted by RAD at 11:15 AM | Comments (1)
January 20, 2005
Bill Cosby faces sexual assault allegations
Please God say it ain't so! Bill Cosby is a comedic genius. I used to listen to
old Bill Cosby records when I was a kid. His Superman bit was hilarious! He and
Fozzy Bear made me want to be a comedian.

FOZZY BEAR IS A COMEDIC IDOL OF RUSS DALE
According to the story, “The woman says her memory is poor, but she does recalls
passing out and Cosby allegedly touching her breast and placing her hand on his
genitals.” WTF!
All of the controversy Cosby has been involved in lately has been very
interesting. I think he is doing right by speaking out so candidly about his
beliefs and beefs and education. I’ve seen this recently referred to as “THE
COSBY CONTROVERSY.” We shall see where this story goes.

Posted by RAD at 07:40 PM | Comments (2)
January 19, 2005
Terraserver USA
I am in love with Terraserver USA
Just input an address or a place and look at it from orbit. Zoom in and out,
it’s wicked cool.
I will be moving as of March 1. Did I mention I was moving? I am. I am moving
here:

Where I will live starting March 2005. Image courtesy of the USGS
That’s me standing in the intersection wearing a red jacket. Pretty neat eh?
Indeed.
Posted by RAD at 01:32 PM | Comments (2)
January 18, 2005
The 10 Worst Snack Foods
Here is a list of the 10 worst snackie foods and some comments by yours truly.
1. French Fries – what’s wrong with potatoes deep fried in lard and sometimes
served piping hot but usually limp with congealed grease seeping through the
box?!
2. Donuts – sugars, glazes and artificial fruity fillings on or in a deep fried
bread unit is bad for you? No way.
3. Chips (Potato or Corn) – I like baked Lays even if one can also perform
carpentry chores with them.
4. Soda – WINKIE’S WAKE ‘EM COLA! Triple the caffeine, triple the sugar and
triple the flavor. Oh yes … triple the goodness.
5. Cupcakes and Snack Cakes -- "It Takes A While To Have A Chocodile!"
6. Candy Bars – I love MRE’s
7. Pork Rinds – How can one not be a lover of fried pork skins?
8. Fat-Free Cookies – Might as well eat the doubly thick fat containing cookies.
9. Crackers – Cheese Nips and Ritz be gone!
10. Pretzels – I hate pretzels.
Posted by RAD at 10:19 AM | Comments (2)
“Watch to see what I can still do”
Another shining moment in the history of the human race surfaces in Florida as a
23-year-old woman falls to her death after trying to perform a handstand on the
railing of a second-floor hotel balcony.
Clearly she was no rocket scientist and did not work for NASA.
Posted by RAD at 09:43 AM | Comments (1)
January 17, 2005
maestro
The word of the day is maestro
maestro
[n.] an artist of consummate skill
Pronunciation: my-strow
Use maestro in a sentence. Here are my contributions:
1.) A maestro with my dexterity spits bile at thee.
2.) She worked the pottery wheel with stupendous maestro-like ability.
3.) Brother Santo was a maestro in the dark art of fudge making and would heave
his confection knowledge to all who would dare listen.
4.) I’m cuckoo for maestro.

Posted by RAD at 12:05 AM | Comments (1)
January 16, 2005
break my stride
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh no
I got to keep on moving
I have had the 1984 song “Break My Stride” by Matthew Wilder caught in my head
for over a month. I need to get Matthew Wilder out of my head. Why is this one
hit wonder off of Matthew Wilder’s debut album, “I Don't Speak the Language”
caught in my head? When I found this ultra-1980’s picture of Matthew Wilder, I
almost wet myself with laughter.

Matthew Wilder
I was 9 years old in 1984. This picture speaks to me on an unknown level. I
think I owned the exact same outfit that Matthew Wilder is wearing in this
picture and it was handed down to me from my older brother and then I handed it
down to my younger brother. We were no strangers to the hand-me-down concept
while growing up.

Here is a midi version of the song: Download file
What songs get caught in your head?
Posted by RAD at 10:31 PM | Comments (1)
Chamberlin Observatory -- Denver
I took this picture of the Chamberlin Observatory in Denver with my phone.
Notice my shadow in the lower left.

University of Denver's Chamberlin Observatory is listed on the National Register
of Historic Places
Posted by RAD at 08:36 PM | Comments (0)
on the surface of Titan
This picture is of the surface of Titan, a moon of Saturn, and was returned to
Earth on January 14, 2005, by the European Space Agency's Huygens probe. The
pictures of this alien world are wonderful. It’s good to see that exploration is
still occurring in what seems to be an ever-stifling Space Age in which we live.

Titan surface, CREDIT:ESA/NASA/Univ. of Arizona
Posted by RAD at 08:34 PM | Comments (0)
January 12, 2005
slimpsy
The word of the day is slimpsy
slimpsy
[adj.] Frail; flimsy
Pronunciation: slimp-see
Use slimpsy in a sentence. Here are my contributions:
1.) He kicked the slimpsy grandma out of the way because she was blocking the
emergency exit.
2.) “DEATH TO ALL THAT IS SLIMPSY!”.
3.) The sausage intestine casing was very slimpsy but it still popped when you
bit into it, spilling the grease and juices down your chin.
4.) I’m cuckoo for slimpsy.
Posted by RAD at 12:06 PM | Comments (7)
work rant
Why must people call to request a telephone number and then make me spend 3
minutes listening to them search in vain for a writing utensil while they are
obviously driving and barking orders to the passenger to find one also? When I
heard, “I feel it. There it is,” it conjured up an image I did not even want to
picture so early in the morning.
Isn’t it a prerequisite to have a pen or pencil handy when making the call in
the first place? You are calling for a specific number after all. Stupe.
I could have transferred the fool but I did not.
Posted by RAD at 08:09 AM | Comments (0)
January 09, 2005

Posted by RAD at 11:55 PM | Comments (5)
January 07, 2005
man gets sick by watching television
Austin Aitken, a 49-year-old part-time paralegal, gets sick by watching
television! haha
Let us all point and laugh at him.
He slumped over, clutching his chest after seeing something shocking on the
television, “OH NO,” he cried, “WAAAAA! People … eating … rats … that have been
… pulverized ... in a blender … it causes me injury and great pain! I … I didn’t
have time to turn off the television before I became violently ill!”
Nanner nanner Mr. Aitken. You've watched NBC’s "Fear Factor" often and have had
no previous problems with the show’s participants eating worms and insects and
raw ostrich eggs in pursuit of a cash prize. But eating rats mixed in a blender
went "too far” and you are now suing! Are you going to sue me for calling you
and your goofy lawsuit out? I shake my fist at you in disgust. I want to smear
my own bodily excrement all over your television set and then make you pay me a
cash prize. It’s the “Russ Poopie Factor!”
To top it all off, in his sickened state, Mr. Aitken couldn’t get to the TV
quick enough to turn it off and the rat eating made his blood pressure rise
which made him dizzy and lightheaded. He then vomited.
Then, because he was so disoriented, he ran into a doorway "causing suffering,
injury and great pain."
Boo Hoo. I cry for him.
The fact that he even wants to pursue a 2.5 million dollar lawsuit is freakishly
frivolous and it makes me sick to my stomach. This lawsuit causes me injury and
great pain.
Posted by RAD at 11:19 AM | Comments (3)
January 04, 2005
Fingers and doors do not mix
I once peed all over my right hand. More about that later.
Back in March, I wrote a pleading letter to the NBA requesting free tickets to a
Denver Nuggets basketball game. My letter failed.
I shat on basketball. My experience with the totality of basketball as a sport
has never been good. I was horrible when I played as a youth and when I was
lucky enough to see the professionals play I had bad experiences.
Once, in elementary school, my mom scored the family tickets to see the Denver
Nuggets play at the old McNichols Sports Arena. We were poor and such an
adventure was a welcome change to our mundane lives. Mom, older brother, sister,
younger brother and I packed into the Dale family truckster and headed to the
game.
The magnificent parking lot was jammed with the cars of basketball fans. The now
demolished McNichols Sports Arena was next door to the now bulldozed Mile High
Stadium. Glory! As we were frenetically unloading from the car, in my
excitement, I locked and slammed the door on the middle finger of my right hand.
I started screaming and crying. In a panic and still inside the car, Mommie
Dearest did not know what was going on. She ordered my older brother to roll
down the window to see what was wrong. “Unlock the door,” I cried, “My finger …
is caught … in the door!!!”
When the door opened, my finger was throbbing and I was in a fair amount of
pain. Not wanting to let my hurting ruin my families good time, we still went to
the game. Or maybe Mommie Dearest dismissed my pain. No matter. The game we
would attend! I do not remember the game. All I remember was my crushed finger
and the excruciating pain and being instructed to dip it in an ice-cold Pepsi
served in a 1980's commemorative Denver Nuggets collectable plastic cup. Oh how
that Pepsi soothed my throbbing middle finger.
The next day it was off to the doctor. I did not break my finger, just severely
jammed it. I had to wear a splint on my middle finger, which was great because
it looked like I was giving “The Bird” to everyone all the time. I remember
peeing all over the splint whilst trying to master the use of my hand after such
trauma. Oh yes … youth and learning … good times.
Posted by RAD at 10:23 AM | Comments (2)
“Happy fucking New Year”
Motley Crue’s Vince Neil said on live television, "Happy fucking New Year,
Tommy!" to his band mate Tommy Lee shortly after midnight on the New Year's Eve
broadcast of "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno."
I’m glad his sentiments made it on the air. The holiday wishes were aired live
to viewers on the East Coast but were edited out before being broadcast in the
West. Thankfully nobody has called NBC to complain.

Yet.
This national press will undoubtedly enrage some conservative with a fear of
“fucking.” Obviously Neil used “fucking” in a non-sexual way. It’s a flavoring
word for crying out loud.
Bono, U2’s front man said, “This is really, really, fucking brilliant" last year
at the Golden Globe Awards, which was also broadcast live by NBC. Unfortunately
the network has said it will put this year's broadcast on a 10-second delay. The
use of the word "fuck" was used an adjective or expletive to emphasize an
exclamation in Bono’s statement and was ruled neither indecent nor obscene.
Good. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
It would have been different if Neil shouted, “Did you see that? She
‘presented!’ Happy New Year! Let’s invite some whores to our bungalow for a wee
bit of hardcore dirt fucking, Tommy! What do you think Jay? You want in on our
fucking action?”
Posted by RAD at 09:30 AM | Comments (1)
January 02, 2005
New Mars Face
Sadly this monumental scientific discovery has not been receiving any press.
Scientists are analyzing a strange new photo from the surface of Mars. For over
a year, frantic advisors have been pouring over new digi data from the twin Mars
Rovers Spirit and Opportunity.
One of the surly and nerdy scientists named Leon McFeffentoter used a series of
shocking and complex computer enhancements to reveal an enigmatic feature on a
photograph of a Martian cliff.
The fruits of his hunched labors revealed a ghostly image of what appeared to be
a human face. An ancient God perhaps? Tricks of light and shadow? His findings
took the scientific community by storm. They caused a controversy. They were to
be classified Top Secret.

Leon McFeffentoter’s Mars Photo Analysis (click for a larger view)
Sadly Mr. McFeffentoter mysteriously died penniless and alone in his shanty, his
air mattress bed deflated. Could dark forces want this discovery to be left
unannounced?
A new visionary stumbled upon the photo and through Tibetan method picked up
where McFeffentoter left off. He enhanced the picture all the more. He was
Reverend Joobcoy.
Rev. Elias Joobcoy had spent so much time and compassion on this “darkened
illustration from the Mars surface” that was stunted frozen with fear by what
his magic gospel revealed. The picture was unbelievable!
Not a week after his monumental discovery, Rev. Joobcoy, who was at a scientific
conference to speak about his discovery, grunted and vanished into the night. He
left vague instructions as to the implications of his work. Perhaps the Reverend
saw something so shockingly disturbing that his only hope for salvation was
heading into the darkness. Or did he see the light shining on the truth? Many
await his triumphant return.
Presented here is his final analysis of the Mars picture. You be the judge.
Tricks of light and shadow? Something else?

Joobcoy's final analysis (click for a larger view)
Posted by RAD at 01:21 PM | Comments (4)