December 23, 2007
Trade Gate: Droog Gridiron Challenge 2007 Fantasy Football
A message from the Commissioner:
As commissioner I am saddened that this day has come, the day when the stain of cheating tarnished our great league. Just as the NFL and Baseball have fallen on hard times so have we. Now we must face our darkest hour or "trade gate" with a resolute determination to root out the issues and create solutions.
Now we must first review the facts.
1) Russ, coach of Mission Control, traded LaDainian Tomlinson (LT) to MELT, coach of Beef in Your Taco, for a decent QB, Matt Hasselbeck and a good WR, Braylon Edwards. Russ was starting Jon Kitna of Detroit. Even if you disagree with the reasoning behind the trade you must admit that Hasselbeck is much better than Kitna SO I understand Russ's choice on some level.
2) MELT and normsquatch, coach of The Flying Douchebag’s, trade of Reggie Wayne for Justin Fargas was not fair or balanced in any way because Fargas was on INJURED RESERVE!
I interviewed all the participants and it was openly stated the normsquatch was going nowhere so he gave up and gave the player away. THIS IS A CLEAR VIOLATION! Both for squatch for not trying and essentially taking a dive like a boxer in a fixed fight, and MELT, for taking advantage of the situation and colluding to create a super team, are clearly at fault.
Now let's review those who are named in the investigation.
1) MELT AKA MELT Belichick- for being so hungry for a championship that he would stoop to any level to win. And just as his namesake Bill Belichick, he cannot see the fault in what he did.
2) Normsquatch "No Mas" - for quitting. In the great tradition of Roberto Duran, you cried "No Mas" with two rounds to fight. What the hell is that?!?!? If you are out of it, sit on the sidelines, talk trash and enjoy the show, but helping to throw the championship is not OK. It's bush league!
3) Russ "What did I Do" Dale - for trading LT to the guy in first place. I get the trade but do you see other teams rushing to help New England win in the NFL? NO!!! And why? Because you try to knock the champs down not help them get better!!! And as a Bronco fan you should know about rooting for the underdog. So no violations but SHAME and bad karma to you! Russ... beware the season ending knee injury... it will plague your team for years to come!!!! (MY RUNNING BACK WAS INJURED TODAY!)
So with that we will review draft and trade policies before next season to prevent the shameful events of this weekend from being repeated. Also further penalties may be discussed at that time, as commissioner I reserve the right to revisit this issue and dish out some retroactive JUSTICE!!
In closing I want to look to the future, to an age when the league's reputation has been repaired after having been sullied by such shameful activity. I thank you for you time on this issue. Look for future executive orders related to penalties. Oh... and Merry Christmas.
The Commissioner
Executive Order 002
As Commissioner of the Droog Fantasy Football League I do decree on this date Sunday, 23 December 2007 it is ordered that due to collusion between MELT and normsquatch in the controversy know as "Trade Gate" an asterisk (*) will be placed next to the champion of the 2007 season. The asterisk will denote that the championship was won under a cloud of suspicion as uneven trades were made to fix or rig the championship.
The Commissioner
Comments:
Russ, coach of Mission Control:
I hear whisperings of a "trade gate." A plague on all your cheating houses! Cheats! Did my trade for LT fuel Matt's lust for power and glory? Did Normando's "giving up" provide Matt the means to acquire a 20+ point receiver for free? He traded for someone on IR! Will this season end with an ASTERIK?
PLJ, coach of Pumpkin Crushers :
A code of conduct is in order! I see Asterisk's dancing in my head. I still plan on
pulling the biggest upset in fantasy football history. Without cheating.
Foo, coach of The Dirty Sanchez-es:
Cheats! You are not trophy worthy. All those who have had the honor of winning this glorious prize vote asterisk. I think trading is inherently OK but trading for IR...that's just cheating. Asterisk style.
MELT, coach of Beef in Your Taco:
Having just heard form "the commissioner,” I don't believe that there should be an asterisk by the name. I didn't break any rules. If this trade isn't allowed, then why did it happen? Why? A code violation? You can't just make up "codes" off of hand...
Your draconian ways do not persuade me. You make it sound as though you've already lost. Who's to know what this or the next week will bring.
Also, I object to the illusion of conspiracy. That would require forethought and an exacting plan, in one word intent. None of which was the case. Must we now get approval on which players we can freely trade amongst each other? What's next? The commissioners permission on whom we can start in our line ups? Perhaps this would be acceptable, if the commissioner had no stake in the outcome - but, I think that we all know this isn't the case.
MELT Belichick? I don't know who this person is. Let's keep the name calling to the fantasy players, and not the managers of individual teams. I'm even okay, considering the irreverent names in this league, with the team names. Your personal jab only highlights the fact that you're unbalanced in your statements and should not be making judgments on anyone, let alone as the commissioner of this league! Would there be such an objection from The Commissioner were his team to have received his LT trade proposal? How dare you deal shame and karma in such a haphazard way.
I'm not necessarily, hungry for the championship. I would like to win however - after all isn't this the point of competing in any game? But, that you believe I "would stoop to any level to win" is simply flat wrong. I question your investigative abilities and the thoroughness of this inquiry.
Re: "trying to knock the champs down". "The Donkey Puncher's" are just as close to the title as I am. The only Champion in this - a two year old league, I believe - is "The Dirty Sanchez-es" managed by Mr. Foo.
Re: The Flying Douchebags taking a dive & "a clear violation". Were the line so obvious as you like it to be, then perhaps this discussion wouldn't be here as the trade wouldn't have happened. MAYBE, The Flying Douchebags will still be getting some beef in their tacos - that is between the Douchebags and the Taco's however. Don't confuse a poor trade as a direct conspiracy to create a "super team", for let me guarantee you, this is not the intent of my recent trade activity.
Posted by: various comments at December 23, 2007 6:22 PMNotice MELT's guilty gaze...
Posted by: russ at December 23, 2007 6:34 PM